2. someone who writes a song entitled "caffeine", sung to the tune of eric clapton's "cocaine."
3. someone who teaches environmental systems 2 at the university of houston college of architecture.
4. someone whose internet porn is the in form of WebCT.
5. "your eyes bulge. your eyes bulge. your eyes bulge... caffeine."
6. someone who fantasizes about having intercourse in the daylight simulation lab.
7. "drip it, steam it, pump it...cube it, cream it, lump it...caffeine."
8. someone who is obsessed with color-coded graphs that track student progress and understanding in his blatantly confusing and poorly directed class.
9. someone who disrupts the class more by bitching about it than the student who walks in 1.5 minutes late and is ergo held in his "late student holding pen" in the back (with zero visibility to the actual class "instruction")
10. someone who can go fuck their own point system and shove it up their ass.
Whether or not someone is a douchebag, can often be determined by a combination of their attitude, attire, and lifestyle.
First we'll start with a basic definition. Douchebags at their core are pricks who have massive egos and think they have the right to treat other people like shit, they think they own the world. They somehow have been deluded into thinking they are extremely attractive, tough, and that everyone likes them, which is far from the case. They are often white teenagers, but can be found in other age groups, and occasionally other races.
Let's look at atire.
Douchebags tend to flock to places such as Abercrombie and Fitch, or Lacostalot, excuse me, Lacoste. They often wear cock eyed or reversed flatbills of a baseball team that is located no where near where they live, usually the Yankees or Red Sox. You may see excessive jewelry also, such as massive stud earrings, I'm not talking just little earrings, massive earrings. They wear pre-ripped up jeans, I believe they call it stressed in places such as Abercrombie and Hollister. More often than not they have short hair, often spiked up with some sort of product. It really isn't that hard to find them, a good portion of teens today are doucehbags, they all look the same and they all look like faggots.
More than just the way one looks characterizes a douchebag though. They are huge pricks, and just have an aura of egotism around them. Whenever they look at someone who doesn't look like them, you can see the disdain in their eyes, they just hate them for no apparent reason. They have shitty attitudes, they act like pussies when they don't get there way are have to do something that isn't "cool" enough for them. They are very elitist and don't understand what it means to be laid back and accepting. They love talking shit, but can't back it up, I once recieved a death threat via text from a douchebag, I think he works at Abercrombie...
They treat women like shit, and the only women who go for them are shallow, easy, and have no self respect. Once you get to college they don't even get these women, beause ithey aren't needed, because they just try to get women really drunk so they can sleep with them. Another thing they do is search for extremely easy girls in the area on Myspace, although girls who fall for this deserve their fate. So ladies, if your guy has any of the qualities in this definition, you should probably really think about what you're doing.
The most important thing to remember when dealing with a douchebag is that, everyone else likes you more than him, and he's a pussy. So feel free to either kick his ass, verbally destroy him since he's probably a dumbass, or just ignore him. One good way to react if a douchebag is talking shit to you is to laugh at him. They'll be confused when they realized they didn't intimidate you, or even make you angry. This confusion will make them angry, and they won't know what to do. Instant win.
Just try not to be a douche.
-"Maybe, although it's filled with douchebags looking for chicks and shopping at abercrombie, lets just throw a crazy party and only invite cool people who know how to have fun and aren't jackasses instead."
-"Good idea I've seen enough flatbills today."
- "What's that guys problem over there?"
-"The one with the huge jacket, flatbill, and collared shirt from abercrombie?"
-"Yeah he's being a total dick to everyone, and won't stop talking shit."
-"What a douchebag, we'll just kick his ass if he gets out of hand."
Douchebag #2 - Sg, but you gotta take tha' grenade chick that hangs out with that slut i've been trying to bang all weekend, I called dibs
Douchebag #1 - K, but your buyin the Jag-Bombs...
Onlooking Bro #1 - Bro, those guys are douchebags
Onlooking Bro #2 - Thats Chill